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This is a stand-up comedy bit by Gary Vider, posted on social media, about his first hiking experience in Calgary and a misunderstanding about bear spray.
The premise hinges on a classic fish-out-of-water setup—an inexperienced city person venturing into nature for the first time with more experienced hiking companions who warn about possible bear encounters
The main comedic turn comes from Vider's assumption that bear spray works like bug spray, meant to be applied to your body as a repellent, when it's actually meant to be sprayed directly at an attacking bear
The store clerk's correction reveals the absurdity: applying bear spray to yourself would actually attract bears and make them angry, the exact opposite of what he intended
The punchline plays on the irrationality of the actual bear spray method—temporarily blinding an aggressive bear seems like it would only enrage it further, leading to his self-deprecating image of being hunted by an angry, maced bear
The closing line uses self-aware humor about his physical appearance and background to heighten the absurdity of the situation
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